My Surprising Lineage (or How DNA and traditional genealogy combined to solve an NPE mystery)

My Surprising Lineage (or How DNA and traditional genealogy combined to solve an NPE mystery)

by Anonymous, name undisclosed for privacy

The last thing I ever expected when I submitted my mother’s saliva for DNA testing was to find anything surprising in the results. Having researched my personal genealogy for over 40 years, serving as a volunteer genealogist for multiple organizations, and holding membership in 16 lineage societies, I believed my mother’s lineage to be well-researched and well-documented.  Her lineage had been the easiest part of my family history to explore!   

Initially, the DNA test results were what I expected – hundreds of DNA matches that shared the surnames of my mother’s ancestors.  Nothing surprising because, after all, I knew my family history – or so I thought.  

One day I received a phone call that changed everything I thought I knew.  My mother’s first cousin on her paternal side, Mary, called to ask why neither my name (Sue) nor my mother’s name (Jan) were appearing in Mary’s DNA match list.  Mary and Jan shared grandparents, the parents of my grandfather Brad, so I was certain that Mary had made an error.  I reviewed my own DNA match list, then I checked my mother’s match list.  Mary’s name was not there!  

I checked the match list for others with the surnames that are found in Jan’s lineage.  Again, nothing for my maternal grandfather (Brad’s) line. Perhaps there was a misspelling or an error somewhere.  Meticulous research continued for weeks with a variety of searches producing zero matches and no success in linking Jan’s DNA to that of Mary, who we believed to be her first cousin.  This was impossible.  There is absolutely no way that first cousins would not share DNA.  And yet, I found literally no DNA matches to anyone in Brad’s family!  

It took a while to comprehend the situation and to come to terms with my shock, but eventually I accepted that there were no errors made by the DNA company, by my cousin Mary, or by anyone else. I was dealing with a case of NPE, a non-paternal event.  In other words, Brad, the man I had believed all my life was my grandfather, and whom my mother had believed all her life was her biological father, was not a genetic relative!  

At this point, I started reviewing the family trees of those who were close DNA matches to my mother.  Matches through her mother Ellen’s lineage were as expected.  But there were no close matches that linked to the unknown man who was actually Jan’s biological father.

Complicating matters in the search for the biological father was the fact that generations of our family had lived in the same small geographic area for many years and over those generations families had intermarried.  Though the names were entirely unfamiliar to me, there were shared surnames among the smaller DNA matches.  By carefully weeding through those DNA matches, I was able to determine the names of both sets of Jan’s biological paternal great grandparents.  One or the other of these two couples appeared as ancestors in every one of the unidentified DNA matches.  The difficulty came in narrowing down the possibilities of who were my mother’s grandparents and eventually who was her biological father.  

For the grandparents, I relied on the family trees of the DNA matches.  Again, weeks of checking, cross-checking and searching was required.  Finally, I found a married couple where both the husband and the wife had a surname from one of each of the two sets of my great grandparents, I knew I had found the names of Jan’s biological paternal grandparents (my biological great-grandparents).   I then used census data to determine which of these couples had a male child who could have been my biological grandfather.  I eventually found his name. Bill was the only man who was the right age, lived at the right place at the right time, and could have known my grandmother Ellen.  Next, I used military records, marriage records, school records, Bill’s obituary, and other documents to learn more about my newly discovered biological grandfather and his situation at the time he would have known my grandmother. 

Bill, my biological grandfather, died the same year that I was born.  Surprisingly, at the time of Bill’s death he lived near my mother, on the opposite side of the state from where she was born.  Unfortunately, I have not yet found a photo of him.  I would love to see his face and see if there is a family resemblance.   

It took some time (and courage), but I have since reached out to Bill’s family members who are DNA matches to my mother and me.  They have provided some photos of other relatives, and there are indeed some very strong family resemblances.  In fact, Bill’s mother (my biological paternal grandmother) looks very much like my mother Jan!  I am happy that these newly-found family members were welcoming.  No one seemed surprised when I contacted them.  It appears that my mother’s birth may be only one of numerous family secrets.  Perhaps one day we will know more about the family tree and the other well-hidden, undiscovered family secrets.  But for now, I know where my mother’s paternal biological ancestors were born, where they died and how they lived their lives.  

This has been a difficult journey in many ways.  My mother does not want to discuss the matter AT ALL!  Some of my extended family members were adamantly opposed to my search.  Others expressed no surprise at the discovery and were familiar with the “goings on” surrounding Bill and Ellen’s relationship.  Despite the shock and anguish of learning that the grandfather and extended family that I’ve known all my life are not my biological family, they will always be the family of my heart.  I realize that I am just one of many individuals who have had genetic testing bring surprising family secrets to light.  My advice to all is to prepare yourself as much as possible for what your DNA test may reveal!  There may well be some big surprises.

Note:  All names have been changed to protect the privacy of the family.